It can be counterintuitive to put yourself first when you have so many people depending on you; however, self-care is critical if you want to be successful at achieving your goals. If you do not fuel your body, emotionally, you may find it hard to cope when life gets stressful. In the mental health world we call the ability to handle life’s changes “coping skills” or “coping strategies”. Coping skills can be as simple as counting to 10 or taking deep breaths. They can also be more time consuming like committing to weekly therapy, getting a regular massage or writing in a journal daily. A coping skill gives you the ability to thrive in adversity or manage stress successfully. Engaging in regular activities that provide you with emotional support helps to fill your cup. You cannot pour from an empty cup, you must fill your cup first. Finding what fills your cup is the first step to developing a system to support yourself emotionally. Here is a quick list of activities that you can engage in regularly that can help you to manage your stress and cope with whatever life throws at you.
Notice that I did not mention watching a movie, binge watching shows or taking a nap. These things just put your stress on hold and they don’t really provide an outlet. In order for something to be a coping skill, I believe that it must be a form of an emotional outlet. Take some time to list out activities that you are willing to engage in regularly. I recommend engaging in coping skills at least weekly if not daily. Regularly filling your cup ensures that you will have the energy to not only help those who rely on you, but also provides you with endurance for the long road ahead.
Often times people who struggle with anxiety have difficulty accepting that they have little to no control over most things. Trying to live a life in which you control everything, often leads to avoiding. Avoiding social situations, avoiding work, avoiding confrontations, basically avoiding any situation in which you cannot control the outcome. Learning to manage anxiety begins with accepting the things that you can’t change. Reducing anxiety takes focus and resolve, but it is possible.
7 Strategies to Reduce Your Anxiety
New year, new you. Right? December is a free for all and by the end we are just surviving. Cookies? Yes, please. Eggnog? Why not. Champagne? Of course. By January first we are ready to begin all kinds of healthy habits that we hope will last through the whole year. But positive changes don’t just have to happen in January. We can make changes any day, any time. It is not necessary to set yourself up for failure with lofty goals. Change can begin with baby steps. If after a few weeks of trying Whole 30 or a week of attending daily bootcamp classes you feel like quitting, then quit. It’s okay. You just got wrapped up in the madness that our society has created. Take a moment and breathe. Reevaluate where you’d like to be in one year and work backward. What are some small changes you can make today that will lead to long term improvements next year? I discourage you from over thinking this. Here is a simple checklist that you can refer to each day to ensure that you are progressing toward a healthier version of yourself.
I got some fresh air.
I moved my body today.
I did something kind for someone.
I am grateful for ________________.
I received an appropriate amount of sleep.
I drank water today.
I ate breakfast today.
One thing I did for myself was________________.
Let’s move toward living a more purposeful life. Take time each day to set an intention. By focusing on caring for yourself and spreading kindness, you are guaranteed to be healthier and happier by 2020.
Want to meet work with Jessica? Click here.
Teenagers are transitioning from childhood to adulthood and growing more independent by the day. This is a time when they start spending more time with friends and less time with mom and dad. Teens have a need to be social as they explore their own identity and discover who they are. This means that your child’s peer group begins to have more influence over your child than you. Friends and peer groups can balance between being positive for your teen or being detrimental. And a lot of it hinges on the way your child feels about himself. Self-esteem or self-image is how your teen sees himself. If he thinks of himself positively, then he probably has healthy self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem is vital for your child to transition successfully to an adult; however if your teen has lower self-esteem, he is more likely to be susceptible to peer pressure. There are many ways that you can help guide your children through the obstacles of peer pressure and self-esteem. Let’s explore strategies to help your teen navigate these common social struggles.
Parenting a teenager takes a lot of patience and courage. Courage to allow for mistakes to happen and patience to guide your teen to adulthood. If you are interested in learning more strategies to build your child’s self-esteem, please see the links below.
Jessica Colarco, LCSW, is a mental health therapist who works with women struggling to juggle all the balls of life. If you’d like to meet with Jessica, please click here.
“Women who understand how powerful they are do not give into envy over meaningless things; instead they fight to maintain the beautiful bond of the sisterhood. These are the real women who know that we need each other’s love and support to survive in this world.”
I think that women are amazing creatures. We have the power to have babies, which just blows my mind. We can juggle a job, kids, homework, dinner, grocery shopping, etc. You name it and I think women can do it. But where is our our solidarity? We no longer build each other up, but have begun to focus on tearing each other down. “Did you hear about Linda? I heard she gives her boys french fries!”. “Well, I heard that Kelly didn’t even try to breastfeed and just gave her baby formula!” What is this all about? I truly think that this cutting each other down only perpetuates our own insecurities. When we find that people are talking negatively about a choice that we, ourselves make, we begin to question our own judgement. We are all doing the best with what we know. I encourage you to hold back the judgment that bubbles up when you see or hear about a woman making a choice that you might not make yourself. I encourage you to spend your energy, instead, on looking for ways to empower your fellow sisters.
5 strategies to begin building each other up
I am a mental health therapist practicing in Henderson, NV. I have found that most of the people that I work with have lost themselves on the road to success. A key component of my treatment approach is assisting people in rediscovering their passions and restoring balance to their lives. This blog contains slivers of wisdom that I continue to discover while assisting people become mentally fit.